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The Error of Specialness

I once thought and believed to be true ‘that each journey is fiercely unique, yet all ended at the same place.’ The ending is true, we ALL end up Home, but the fierce uniqueness was and is an illusion. It was the ‘hard fought’ battles of my journey that I held onto, as though the battle scars proved some kind of victory and justified the situations experienced to give it meaning for my ‘growth.’ I believed this delusion and proudly shared its insight as something discovered by me because I had some kind of a ‘gift.’ I didn’t realize the harm it was doing to my soul.

By claiming specialness, I claimed to be better than my brothers and sisters; even though I believed I was doing ‘good’ with it. The intention was still self-serving at its core because I secretly wanted people to see my scars and to reflect back to me my own specialness.

Specialness is a seductive temptation. When it's believed it becomes the basis for defending oneself from all that can attack it. It becomes noble and honorable to protect our specialness, our rugged individuality, but it is war against our brothers and sisters. We attack those who don’t value our specialness - that attack includes anything physical, spoken and/or thought. It is an attack on our Unity and so conflict becomes our reality, not the Peace that is given as our birthright as Children of God.

Attachment and idolatry of the body is how specialness is manifested. The body is the first thing we see when we encounter a brother and sister. Our judgments of bodies are so automatic that it bypasses conscious thought. There is an immediate attraction and desire for the form deemed desirable - set by a place and a culture; there is an immediate revulsion to any deformity. How we see ourselves on this spectrum is an indication of our worth, yet old age or a freak accident / an expensive surgery or make-over, can shift where we see ourselves on the spectrum of desirability/repulsiveness; this changes within one's lifetime and over the span of life times. The constant charade of figures and attachment to them causes identification with the form and that this ‘I’ is special and to be protected at all costs.

This distraction feeds the illusion of separation. Your specialness is NOT a gift from God, it is an ego device that has you blaming God. For if God gave you your gifts, then God sent to you your challenges and difficulties. That would be saying that God gave this person this one gift but not another, so that this person must be worthy of God’s love more. That belief creates a fickle God who wants to be special and so he doles out gifts based on a criteria we don’t understand but desperately need to know so as to not suffer his wrath.

Is that a God you really want to believe is real and is that petty ?

That can’t be God, for what God creates is in God’s likeness and what God creates is Perfect, without uniqueness. It is the same in its glorious extension of Itself where conflict is impossible. Where there can NEVER be want nor suffering. My brothers and sisters you don’t have to wait for Heaven to know this! Live this way NOW! Abandon attachment to what makes you ‘you.’ There is nothing to protect, no identity, no battle scars, no story of failure or triumph. With nothing to prove or protect, we see our brothers and sisters in the brilliant light of Truth and wake up to the fact that we ARE ALL already There.

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